For a while, my website looked nice. The colors were pretty and everything was clean and organized. If someone else saw it, they probably would have thought it looked good. But every time I opened it, it felt a little wrong. Not ugly, just… not me.
I kept staring at it trying to figure out why. The colors were fine. The layout worked. But it felt like I had built something that could belong to anyone.
I think that feeling connects to something bigger in my life. I’ve always had a weirdly hard time figuring out who I actually am. For a long time I just kind of absorbed whatever the people around me liked. If my friends were obsessed with something, suddenly I was too. If something was popular, I convinced myself I loved it. It wasn’t even like I was lying on purpose. I just never really stopped to ask myself what *I* liked.
When you do that for a long time, you start to lose track of yourself a little bit. You’re just made up of pieces of other people.
So eventually the website started bothering me. Not because it looked bad, but because it felt like another example of that. It was nice, but it wasn’t personal. It didn’t feel like something that came from me.
That’s why I decided to redo it.
And honestly, it feels kind of beautiful realizing things about yourself, even if they’re small things. Like realizing you actually prefer darker colors. Or messier layouts. Or little details that make something feel more alive.
It might seem dramatic to connect all of that to a website redesign, but I don’t think it is. Sometimes figuring yourself out doesn’t happen in huge life moments. Sometimes it happens in quiet little ways, like changing the way a website looks until it finally feels like yours.
This revamp isn’t just about the design. It’s about slowly figuring out who I am, and letting that show up in the things I make.